Safe
Sex:
Oral
Sex
What
is Oral Sex?
Oral
sex relates to anything done with the mouth from:
- deep kissing
- continuous
kissing all over the body and the genitals
- fellatio
- cunnilingus
Oral
sex should always be done with a great deal of:
- patience
- personal
hygiene
- sensitivity
- tenderness
It
can be difficult for some people to do if you do not enjoy giving oral sex
and this can cause tenseness and upset with your partner.
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What
is Cunnilingus and How is it Done?
Oral
sex for women is called cunnilingus and most women find it very exciting.
Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and
tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice and dedication.
A strong slippery tongue can be used with precision on the clitoris without
danger of causing any pain, unlike a finger. Whenever you touch a woman's
vagina make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with
juices from inside her.
Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch
her clitoris because it does not secrete any juices of its own and is extremely
sensitive and it can hurt if the area is too dry.
Everyone
must find how they like things done to them, and this is a very personal
thing. You can start by:
-
foreplay
- kissing
your partner's face and mouth
- gradually
working your way down her body
- kissing
and stroking her breasts and belly
- kissing
and stroking her inner thighs, the most tender spot.
- lick
it and kiss it with the tip of your tongue
- flick
your tongue in light kisses along the folds of the outer labia
- smooth
away the pubic hair, parting the labia gently with your fingers
- move
gradually inwards with your tongue, nuzzling, burrowing and thrusting
your tongue into her vagina
Some
women may like additional stimulation:
- a
finger or two into the vagina
- a
finger or two into the anus
- breasts
fondled
- your
finger inserted into her vagina while her clitoris is licked
- stimulate
erogenous zone at the roof of her vagina while having oral sex
If
your partner does not like her clitoris to be stimulated directly at first,
go carefully until she is fully aroused and reaches orgasm.
When
your partner has achieved orgasm:
- do
not leave her alone
- talk
to her
- stroke
her body
- caress
her breasts
- keep
making love to her quietly until her orgasm has eased
- she
needs sensitivity from her lover
Oral
sex can be one of the most exciting sexual experiences you can have:
- take
your time
- practice
often
- pay
attention to the needs and signals of your lover
- enjoy
yourself
What
About the Smell and Taste?
If
the taste or smell bothers you ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy
cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, but acquired, taste.
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What
About Cunnilingus During Menstruation?
Cunnilingus
during menstruation is definitely a personal issue. If it is a concern to
you do not do it. A tampon or a diaphragm may hold the flow of blood back.
There is no particular danger in menstrual blood if your partner has no
infections or HIV/AIDS. Orgasms during menstruation
can help alleviate period cramps.
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What
is Analingus and how is it done?
Analingus
is putting your tongue to your partner's anal opening. Absolute hygiene
is required for this sexual practice. Make certain that your partner has
just showered and is very clean. Place a piece of plastic wrap or a dam
over the anus. At no time should your tongue come into contact with the
anal surface itself.
Your
partner should lie on his/her back with his/her legs in the air and his
knees close to his/her shoulders as this spreads his/her buttocks apart,
allowing you greater access to his anus. The nerve endings around the anus
respond to licking around the area.
Analingus,
combined with other activities such as vigorous penis stimulation with the
hand is sometimes included in homosexual relationships.
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What
is Fellatio and how is it done?
Oral
sex for men is called fellatio. There are few tips to fellatio that can
be given other than lots of practice and finding out what feels good to
each other. The lips and the tongue are the major sources of stimulation
and can be used in many ways to make your partner feel good.
Most men find
having their penis sucked, licked and kissed intensely exciting. Specific
skills, techniques, and positions are not as important as your frame of
mind and harmony with yourself and your surroundings.
Occasionally
men are worried they may be bitten. If the partner opens his/her mouth as
wide as possible, closes his/her lips but not his/her teeth over the penis,
there should be no problem with biting. Using all the muscles in the lips
and tongue will mean that the teeth should not come into contact with the
penis at all.
The
best way is to become familiar with the activity in an easy, relaxed way
and add on from there. Remember, the main thing is to have a good time.
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Can
you Choke Doing Fellatio?
Some
women find that they start to gag or choke during fellatio. Get in a position
where you are more in control so this can be avoided.
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What
are some Techniques?
The
male genitals are highly sensitive to pain so be very gentle.
- Try
starting with kissing your partner's face and mouth gradually proceeding
to his genitals
- To
stimulate the penis with your lips and tongue lick all along the shaft,
exploring all its shape, thickness, soft skin
Explore
from the:
- textured
crown on top with its meatus or opening
- frenum
or frenulum, the sensitive place where the glans joins the shaft on
the underside, the string-like portion coming down from the head to
the ring of skin, called the corona
- foreskin
(if uncircumcised)
- scrotum
(testicles) with your lips and tongue tip
You
can provide the highest degree of sensation to yourself and your partner
by kneeling between his legs and approaching his penis from the bottom rather
than from the side or the top.
One
of the simplest and nicest actions is to move your mouth up and down on
his penis. This is called sliding.
- Take
the head of the penis in your mouth and suck it, tickling it at the
same time with your tongue
- Move
your lips up and down the shaft, sucking and pressing with your lips
and tongue
- Slide
slow or fast taking as much penis into your mouth as you like
- Slide
down as far as you can drawing his penis out slowly while sucking on
it
Another
method is to:
-
Lick upwards from the testicles to the top of the penis, like a lollipop
- To
heighten his orgasm, place your thumb at the very base of the penis
blocking the tube through which the semen spurts so the the semen cannot
escape
- At
the same time suck vigorously on the head of his penis, so that your
partner's ejaculation of semen will last much longer and be very intense
Another
method as you are giving fellatio is:
-
To begin a slow playful search around his bottom, a particularly sensitive
area
- This
will enhance the sensations that your mouth and tongue and throat are
giving his penis to feel a finger playing with his bottom
- As
your partner relaxes and allows you access, gently insert your gloved
finger into his anus
- You
will be at the area of the prostate gland when your finger is inside
completely, so massage this gland with your finger to produce delightful
sensations for your partner
- A
mini-vibrator
may be used instead
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What
does 'Deep Throating' Mean?
When
the penis goes down past your gag reflex area it is called 'deep throating'.
The best way to give fellatio is still with the lips and tongue, taking
only as much as you can without gagging. You can overcome the natural tendency
of the body to gag when a foreign object, such as a penis, is inserted down
your throat by completely relaxing your throat at the moment the insertion
is made. It is equally important that you maintain this relaxation during
the entire 'deep throating'. Once again practice is needed to perfect this
act.
The average length of your oral cavity is 3-31/2 inches while the average
Caucasian penis length is 5-51/2 inches. The biggest obstacle to taking
all of your partner's penis down your throat is the fact that there is a
bend of almost 90 degrees behind your tongue leading down into your throat.
You
will need to get into a position so that your mouth and throat lie almost
in a straight line.
- Lie
on a bed so that your head is near the edge with your body sprawled
across the bed so that your head is tipped sharply back
- Let
him put his penis down your throat and hold it still while you find
the most comfortable way to proceed.
- Take
the penis as far as you can without choking and then take in a fraction
at a time and slowly swallow it down and rise off just as slowly.
-
You must allow your throat to relax completely while your partner is
thrusting his penis deeply down your throat, the penis will then go
beyond the gag reflex and the semen ejaculates directly into your stomach.
- To
do this long enough for your partner to be completely satisfied is very
difficult. You may be able to take your partner's penis completely down
your throat, but not be able to maintain proper relaxation of your throat
to ejaculation.
Some
affirmations may be needed to handle the act: 'I won't choke'; 'I can take
it out at any time', etc. With practice you will be able to take his penis
deeper into your throat for longer periods of time.
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What
is the 69 position?
The
'69' position is so called because the figures resemble a couple giving
each other oral sex. This is an excellent way of arousing each other and
some people feel that it is the best position in which to perform oral sex.
Each partner lies with their head by each other's genitals (most penises
curve upwards towards the head, and that curve matches the curve of the
throat in the 69 position). Some find it difficult to both perform and appreciate
oral sex at the same time, especially when they are just about to reach
orgasm, because of the intense pleasure. If this happens it may be best
to break off from pleasuring your partner while you have an orgasm to avoid
involuntarily biting your partner.
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Can
I Use My Hands?
Many
men like as much stimulation as possible and like the feel of a wet mouth
and hands on the penis. This can prove very exciting for them.
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What
about the Smell or Taste?
Nicely ask him to go take a shower if the smell is unpleasant to you. Basic
hygiene is essential in any sexual practice and necessary in this age of
prevalent STDs. There is no problem if your partner
is healthy with no infection, besides, the mouth does have millions more
germs than a clean penis.
Many
women enjoy having their partner ejaculate into their mouth, however, some
women find the idea of swallowing semen repugnant. It is up to the individual
how you handle this issue. Many men feel that by swallowing their semen,
you accept a part of themselves into your body to totally complete your
lovemaking but many people don't like the taste of semen. You have to work
it out with each other.
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What
Can I Do to make my Semen Taste Better?
- alkaline-based
foods such as meats and fish produce a bitter, fishy taste
- dairy
products contain a high bacterial putrefaction level which creates a
foul taste
- asparagus-laced
semen is awful
- acidic
fruits and alcohol give a pleasant, sugary taste
- chemically
processed liquors will cause an extremely acidic taste, so drink high-quality,
naturally fermented beers or sake
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What
Does Semen Contain?
The
caloric content of an average semen ejaculation is estimated to be approximately
15 calories. The average semen ejaculate contains:
- aboutonia
- ascorbic
acid
- blood-group
antigens
- calcium
- chlorine
- cholesterol
- choline
- citric
acid
- creatine
- deoxyribonucleic
acid (DNA)
-
fructose
- glutathione
- hyaluronidase
-
inositol
- lactic
acid
- magnesium
- nitrogen
- phosphorus
- potassium
- purine
- pyrimidine
- pyruvic
acid
- sodium
- sorbitol
- spermidine
- spermine
- urea
- uric
acid
- vitamin
B12
- zinc
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Are
there any Special Sensitive Spots or Marks on the Penis?
Like
everything every penis is unique and different with individually preferred
sensitive areas. People like to be touched and fondled in different ways.
Ask your partner how they would like you to touch them. Go by your partner's
reactions, sounds etc. and you will know if it is going okay.
You
have to really put great enthusiasm into oral sex. Experiment with what
each other enjoy most.
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How
do you Perform Safer Oral Sex?
There
is the risk of being infected with HIV in having unprotected
oral sex with a man or a woman, however, it is not as risky as unprotected
anal or vaginal sex. HIV is found in:
-
blood
- breast
milk
- semen
- vaginal
fluids
The
virus can transmitted through:
- cuts
- mucous
membranes (anus, mouth, vagina)
- openings
- sores
on
your body.
During oral sex, to avoid risk of HIV infection, it
is important to:
- keep
semen and vaginal fluids out of your mouth
- make
sure that your mouth is healthy and you do not have bleeding gums, cuts,
or mouth sores, as the presence of blood will increase your risk
To
keep vaginal fluids out of your mouth when having oral sex with a woman,
use:
- a
dental
dam
- a
piece of plastic wrap as a barrier between the mouth and the vagina
- an
unlubricated condom
cut into a latex square
To
keep semen out of your mouth when having oral sex with a man, use:
- an
unlubricated, non-spermicidal condom
- flavored
condoms
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